that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
