i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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