he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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