Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
