Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
