i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I am naked and annoyed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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