South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think a kid would responsible me up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
