Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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