plz talk dirty to me
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
