Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
