haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
