If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
