Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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