are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
