I wish my penis had an off switch
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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