at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
