He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
