I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
