so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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