i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
