I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
