I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
