it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
