Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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