So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
