Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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