I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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