Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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