Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
