Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
