I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
mondays should just be called national damage control day
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
