i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
