no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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