when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
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