Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
