Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
