I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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