I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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