You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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