also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
