i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think your dad took our porno
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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