covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
