Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
