I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
