It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
