I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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