yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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