he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
