I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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