Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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