Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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