Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
